When one discusses life, death, heaven, and hell, you would imagine a philosophical debate about whether humanity deserves the just rewards waiting for you in the end. You expect to hear about the usual things: man's inhumanity against man, the will of a higher power, or the ramifications of your actions while alive. What you don't expect to hear is how an angel that looks like John Cena is giving you an extermination job.
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Neon White is a game that delves into some ideas about human worthiness and forgiveness simultaneously alongside pretty extreme humor --and maybe even a little cringe. Below are a few examples of the finest lines this game throws at you for laughs. You're going to need them if you are going to save the world and the afterlife.
9 Neon White's Plan Of Attack
Near the beginning of the story, the protagonist Neon White comes across the possible antagonist of the game, Neon Green. Due to his amnesia, White doesn't remember anything about Green but knows he feels angry when he looks at him. They are competing for a chance at heaven, so it's bound to create some tension, right?
So, when White is discussing with Neon Red, another friend from White's past, he begins talking about possible ways to counteract Green's assault when he slips into describing a whole scene as if he were playing Dungeons and Dragons, which Red rightly calls him out for.
8 A Wild Naruto Reference Appears
Upon meeting the overly familiar side character Neon Yellow, White is quickly overwhelmed with Yellow's happy-go-lucky friendly persona. His unease is understandable since he's adjusting to not being dead and being devoid of all memories, right? You have to admit that would be a huge deal waking up to.
Not wasting a moment, Yellow starts trying to fill him in with memories of their life together, claiming that they were not only best friends, but Yellow took a bullet for him as he called White 'his' Sasuke and the 'darkness to his light.' Only to reveal he was kidding immediately after. Not sure what's better: Yellow's sense of humor or the notion that Naruto exists in their universe.
7 You Can't See Him, But Yellow Does
Yellow is on a roll with the references, isn't he? Starting strong with the Naruto reference, he comes in again with his human perception of the angel Mikey, who is imperceptible to the human mind in his true angel form. Instead, he takes the shape of something that the human looking at it finds comfort in or likes. For Neon White, Mikey Takes the shape of a cartoon cat that both he and Red are familiar with.
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Not with your boy Yellow though. No, his comfort form for the surly angel is none other than the infamous John Cena! Of all the beings to assign you missions to eradicate demons that escaped into heaven, he has the best version of Mikey, hands down.
6 White's… Tastes Become Apparent
It's no secret that White grew interested in Neon Red at first glance, and not just because he thinks she's pretty; they have a mutual connection that she cautiously reciprocates at times — pointing her weapon at him a few times aside.
While Red keeps most of her past with White close to her chest, her walls slowly drop as they continue their game of flirting and teasing. So, when Red hits White with some truth, he doesn't take it too well and starts to er… beg her to neg him. It would be understood if you thought it was a one-time thing, but nope. He makes the awkward-to-watch scenes just a little more cringe.
5 Violet's School ground Teasing
Neon Violet is as unpredictable as she is cute, taking her personality from cute and innocent to violent and bloodthirsty; you never know what part of her you are getting when you start a conversation. You might get the flirtatious side where she feigns not knowing how to shoot a gun, or you might end up with a knife at your throat.
In this scene, she comes across the flirty duo Neon White and Red, ruminating over certain events when she starts singing about Red and White sitting in a tree. Her version, however, is much more vulgar than the typical childhood rhyme that couldn't be repeated here. Still worth a decent chuckle, though.
4 The Roast Of White
White has become the butt of a lot of jokes from Neons Red, Violet, and Yellow throughout the whole journey despite him befriending and gifting them their favorite things. Not to mention, most of them seemed to have tried their best to keep his past away from him.
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The chiding reaches its peak during a casual game of I-Spy between Violet and Red, where they use poor White as the target. Everything from his clothes and how many belts he wears to how opposite of thicc White is. These women have no chill, and that's okay; they may as well make the best of their reunion.
3 White's Response To Being Called A Baby
For someone who has a quick wit and knows how to talk trash, White has some pretty thin skin when it comes to being on the receiving end of things. Anytime one of the crew teases him, he gets irate. Well, not for all of them. Naturally, this doesn't apply to all his old crew.
During one of their many dialogue scenes, Red remarks that White is smart, only to follow up with a quick quip about him being a baby. Out of instinct, white demands that he be called sexy, but Red doesn't give him what he wants. The scene is both funny and great at establishing the relationship between the two.
2 Gamer Philosophy Coming From A Surprising Place
If you leave White's sense of humor out of the equation, he is not the strongest or smartest of his peers. He brings his unique outlook to the table, however, which can offer a refreshing change in perspective. That's not what you’re here for, now is it? White has often said both profound and ridiculous things, but this one sentence possibly takes the whole cake.
One minute, he's expressing thoughts about what it means to forgive the unforgivable, and the next, he drops this surprising ball of wisdom. So much so that Red is rendered unspoken in the sheer mass of the phrase's glory here. Feast your eyes on the biggest gem of 'philosophy' in the game and gasp in awe. Or laugh; that works too.
1 White Can't Handle The Heat
Getting reacquainted with your old friends in the afterlife can be rewarding, but they can also bring out old memories you'd rather forget. White doesn't like spicy foods. Well, to be honest, this would be considered the hugest understatement in the game. One taste would have him bouncing around the room in incredible pain.
Leave it to Yellow to not only bring up White's intolerance of spices but to drudge up an unfortunate story stemming from a bowl of unfortunate chili to have White leave the screen in silence. Yellow's obliviousness makes the joke ten times better.
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