Grand Theft Auto 5: 19 Best Quotes

Grand Theft Auto 5 is one of the most popular video games of all time. Rockstar Games threw everything but the kitchen sink into the development of this landmark title, which most people still consider to be one of the best games ever made. The sheer amount of fun that you can have in this massive sandbox is limitless, with player freedom playing a major role in making this title so infinitely engaging.

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Of course, a big part of what makes this game so memorable is its amazing story mode, which features a bunch of endearing characters and a tight script full to the brim with hilarious and quotable lines. Here are some of the best quotes in Grand Theft Auto 5 that people will remember long after they've finished this amazing game.

Updated on September 14, 2024, by Ben Jessey: Grand Theft Auto 5 remains one of the most popular and famous games in the world. Part of this is down to its brilliant writing. For this list, we took the best quotes and put them in one collection. Now, we've updated the piece to add more.

19 “Nothing Looks More Suspicious In America Than Someone Who's Actually Prepared To Make Something.”

Lester Crest

GTA 5 pokes fun at America and society, in general, a lot during the game. As a man who lives off the grid, Lester is unsurprisingly one of the main people who mocks those things.

One of his best lines on the subject comes when he explains to Michael why his textile factory - which he uses as a front for their criminal activity - has stopped making things. He claims that a company that actually makes things would be considered suspicious in America. It's a funny line that has, at least, some truth to it.

18 “Are You Some Kind Of Pure, Morally Justifiable A**hole? What, Because You're... You're Totally Psychotic, Somehow It's Okay?”

Michael De Santa

You can't call any of the protagonists in the game morally good. In fact, they aren't even anti-heroes. They're morally corrupt criminals, and they'd probably admit that. However, at one point, when Trevor, of all people, questions Michael's character, he loses his cool and goes on a bit of a funny rant.

Despite being really angry, he eloquently points out the irony of Trevor calling him an a**hole, even though the man from Sandy Shores is an objectively more horrible human being than Michael or most of the other characters in the game. It's nice to hear him call out Trevor in this manner.

17 “We’re Corrupt In A Good Way.”

Dave Norton

If you ask a bunch of Americans whether the Government is corrupt, most of them will claim that it is. This is likely why the Government is usually corrupt whenever it is depicted in games, movies, or TV shows.

Government man Dave Nortan admits to being corrupt in GTA 5 but says that he and his people are "corrupt in a good way." The idea of the Government being so corrupt that there are different levels of it is very funny, making this the most comical line that Dave says in the game.

16 "At Least Respect What You Do, Who You Are. If You Let That Idiot Die, You A Bigger A**hole Than I Thought."

Tanisha Jackson

Tanisha might not feature much in the game, but she is an important character from Franklin's past. She left him because she couldn't live the gang life he was living. Late in the game, the former lovers come face-to-face when she asks him to save Lamar, who is currently in peril.

At this point in the story, Franklin has changed as he's making more money and has left his old life behind. He also wants to leave Lamar behind until Tanisha delivers this great quote, encouraging Franklin not to forget who he really is.

15 "Go To College. Then You Can Rip People Off And Get Paid For It. It’s Called Capitalism."

Michael De Santa

This quote is one of the best examples of the characters making fun of society. When Franklin wants help to raise his profile in the criminal world, Michael suggests going to college instead so he can get a fancy job and legally rip people off.

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It's a hilarious jab at capitalism that isn't too far from the truth. Plus, it's an early example of Michael's cynical view of the modern world.

14 "God Help The Morally Bankrupt Planet Your Generation Have Left Us If You’re The Good Guy."

Jimmy De Santa

Jimmy De Santa is one of the most unlikable characters in Grand Theft Auto 5 as he's an entitled young man who blames his lack of accomplishments on his father. Yet, he does provide plenty of funny and, sometimes, insightful lines throughout the game.

One example comes when he responds to Michael's claim that he once thought of himself as a good guy. This is despite all the killing, lying, and robbing he's done throughout his criminal days. Jimmy correctly points out how screwed the world would be if Michael was considered a good person.

13 "I'm Sorry, Man. You Have Been True With Me. But The Truth Ain't What I'm Interested In."

Franklin Clinton

Franklin says the quote in question if he chooses ending A, which means agreeing to do the FiB’s bidding and killing Trevor to save his own skin. He and Trevor are two amazing characters that have always got along throughout the game. So, you’d expect that it would be hard for Frank to go through with it.

This line he says to Trevor initially seems to acknowledge this with him apologizing to his friend. However, the “the truth ain’t what I’m interested in” shows he’s more committed to saving himself. It's both powerful and heartbreaking at the same time.

12 "Hipsters Love Saying They Hate Hipsters."

Michael De Santa

In one of several heated discussions between Michael and Trevor, they are discussing whether Trevor is a hipster or not. Well, only Michael is saying that while his partner slowly becomes more angry as each second passes.

This brief dialogue is full of laughable bits, but the quote selected is simply one of the best. It's a futile argument that just works while also being stupid. Michael can really be an annoying gentleman when you give him the chance.

11 "What Kinda F***** Animal Do You Take Me For? No, I Didn't Kill Him! [...] But I Did Kidnap His Wife."

Trevor Phillips

Trevor didn't like working for Martín Madrazo, the businessman who's the leader of a drug cartel. The protagonist gets a bit too angry when he doesn't receive the money he was waiting for after a tough day of work.

Michael is waiting for him to arrive, knowing that something went wrong. He's very concerned once Trevor turns up in Madrazo's vehicle. When Trevor admits to doing something to Martín, Michael worries that he's killed him. However, Trevor actually 'just' kidnapped his wife. The fact that Trevor is so offended that Michael thought he killed the man, only to reveal the kidnapping, like it's a much lesser crime, is hilarious.

10 "Surviving Is Winning, Franklin. Everything Else Is Bull****. Fairy Tales Spun By People Afraid To Look Life In The Eye."

Michael De Santa

This quote lets people understand Michael's psyche. He's been pushed against a wall so many times that his entire worldview has been warped into a 'kill or be killed' mentality. Or at least, he's trying to convince himself that's what he believes, as it may make him feel less guilty for screwing over Trevor back in North Yankton.

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That being said, this line that he tells Franklin during his unofficial mentorship is poignant. Franklin agrees with it as well, and understandably so. Perhaps it's a little sad that the young man so readily accepts this selfish worldview, but he may have to if he wants to survive the criminal life.