The Sims 4 has a wide range of careers for your Sims to pursue. When playing the game, my main concerns are things like hours, salary, and if I can work from home. When looking for work in the real world, my concerns are very similar. However, there is one main difference: ability.

Sims can learn anything just by doing it. In real life though, this really hasn't turned out to be the case for me. Despite spending hours trying to play piano, clarinet and guitar, I have mastered none of the above and my musical skill level remains at about two. With this in mind, here are the jobs I think I'd excel in, and those where I'd suck.

I've chosen a range of jobs with two different branches to try and get a good mix, since some of the careers are very similar and there are far too many to list them all.

Criminal

Boss Or Oracle

I would be absolutely the worst criminal ever. I can't even get away with being the impostor in Among Us without being instantly discovered. I'm also bad at being a crew mate as well, since I have a tendency to wander over dead bodies without noticing. My entire skill set comprises hyper-focusing on tasks.

As a result, I'd be a terrible criminal. I cannot convincingly lie, and if I was trying to commit a crime there's no way I'd notice the evidence I left behind. I'd be so hyper-focused on the actual crime that I'd get it done, but at the cost of completely failing to cover my tracks. I'd be doing time in no time at all, however small my role was.

Astronaut

Space Ranger Or Interstellar Smuggler

Astronaut is just as unfeasible as being a criminal for me, but at least you don't get sent to jail for failing to get into NASA. Science has never been a particularly strong subject for me and nor is math. I am absolutely fascinated by space but understand nothing about it.

I'll stick with my telescope, which allows me to see the beauty of the stars without needing to pass an exam and a bunch of complicated tests or experience a stomach-churning trip. I will be watching out for asteroids though. I've seen what they can do.

Painter

Master Of The Real Or Patron of The Arts

Despite being far more artistic than analytical, this has never translated into painting skill. Over the years I've made attempts to improve my drawing and painting skills, but it just doesn't happen. I can just about manage Pictionary, but only if the words are easy.

Think about when you see Sims first paint, and you get those funky stickmen, or you get a drawing from your kid and the sun has a smiley face. This is about the level I can reach with my 'skills'. Technically, I could call myself a Patron of the Arts, but I have no money to invest in art, so I'm pretty sure that one is out as well.

Athlete

Professional Athlete Or Bodybuilder

My skills in sport are only marginally better than my drawing skills, and the chances of me ever becoming an athlete of any kind are absolute zero. I'm generally clumsy and uncoordinated, which are not good traits for succeeding at any form of sport.

There's also no coaching-type option here. Not that I'd be much better at it, but at least I'd stand a vague chance of success. This is probably on par with my chances at painting and certainly not a career change I'll be considering.

Style Influencer

Stylist Or Trend Setter

Being stylish is something I have successfully avoided for my entire life. I prefer my clothes to be functional, and while I don't wear tracksuits because I've never been a fan of sportswear or elasticated ankles, I am one of those people who buys three of anything I find comfortable.

I was a teenager in the 1990s, and it's arguable that I didn't outgrow that phase, given I still wear band or slogan t-shirts, jeans, combat trousers and hoodies. I've also still got some checked shirts. The only concessions I've made are the removal of the chains from my belt loops, and I no longer layer shirt-sleeved t-shirts under long ones. Trend setter or stylist are not words that could ever be applied to me, unless you want to know how to dress like it's 1998, and you're in a punk rock or grunge phase.

Business

Management Or Investor

I am actually entirely unsure what business as a career is. It makes me think of President Business from the Lego movie. Now his job I could do, since it seems to involve wandering around saying "business, business, business" and talking about Tacos. Actual business-type roles sound terrifying.

Management is out, due to my lack of ability to manage a shopping list, let alone anything else. Being an investor is also out since I'm assuming this involves math and knowing things about banking, investments and business. Which I don't.

Gardener

Botanist Or Floral Designer

Gardening I'd stand a little more chance at. I know how to work a lawnmower and can even identify a random array of wild flowers, thanks to my grandma teaching me as a kid. I've even successfully kept things alive for a reasonable length of time.

The main stumbling block here is that while I love being in nature, having plants, and being in gardens, I really hate the actual work that goes into maintaining them. I'm pretty sure I'd hate this career very, very, quickly.

Entertainer

Musician Or Comedian

My musical skills are zero, as we've already established, but I have on occasion managed to be funny. I think I'd actually struggle as a solo act of any kind but I think I could at least hold my own in a comedy troupe, especially if the material was pre-written.

I have a qualification in drama which I got at age 15, so that has to count for something, right? Maybe I need to take a look at that acting career instead. Then hope I never become famous enough for people to want to talk to me all the time.

Culinary

Chef Or Mixologist

There used to be a joke in my house that people would only come to eat if I wasn't cooking. However, due to circumstances beyond my control I had to learn. Now I can hold my own in the kitchen, and with instructions, I could reasonably cope with cooking. Just don't put me anywhere Gordon Ramsey wants to visit. My cooking level is less Michelin and more McDonalds.

I can also mix drinks on a basic level and know how big a shot in a bar is supposed to be, as well as how big a shot in my dad's home bar is. There's quite a difference. As a result, this is a career I could at least succeed at.

Social Media

Internet Personality Or Public Relations

Unless the world needs an autistic gamer who would hyperfocus so much they'd forget that chat existed, then internet personality is probably out. However, I do have some skills I could transfer to PR.

Moving from journalism to PR is quite common and is something I think I could do. I have a good idea of what goes into promotion from not only being on this side of it but also from past work in marketing and social media. We're now hitting feasible terrain.